When Nothing Happened

Today it rained. It was like a hard falling, marauding, seriously pissed off mist. Barely able to cause the colour of my rather nice shirt to darken where water hit it. Then it stopped. And nothing else happened.

I collected modest winnings, as a result of sometimes being able to select a successful place-getter in a big horse race, from Saturday’s Caulfield Cup, on the way home as well. That wasn’t terribly exciting. Nothing much is terribly exciting, to be brutally frank, and the slightly embarrassing thing to admit, I suppose, is that I like it that way. A weekend, or a week, or a day, without highlights is what I’m looking for in many ways. And it’s starting to annoy me that I simply cannot be left alone. Time does not feel like it’s mine to mould and order and enjoy for my own pointless ends – which is what I’d really like to do. No, my time belongs to other people, although it is not the case that their time belongs to me. That would be rude. (Actually, perhaps I do make demands on others, perhaps we all do, perhaps we’re all doing it to each other, all the time. I don’t know. I’d prefer to think it was a game that I’m not playing, and that if I were playing it and I found out I could stop. But maybe there’s no stopping.)

When one is hiding one’s head in one’s hands for fear of looking at the blank screen of the laptop, which appears to be on its last legs, and then the phone rings – the mobile phone, which apparently cannot be neglected, by law – the reaction that seems right for me is to say something like, “Oh, leave me alone!” And then answer it and be delighted by conversation with an old friend, who is nonetheless wasting your valuable head-in-hands time. What can we do about these outrages? Stop calling them outrages, for a start. I’m just being a shade grumpy.

What else is there? Flowers growing out the front, plants coming into their own in general, and more light. Spring is excellent, that can’t be denied. But I don’t want to be hot. I’m already fearing going to bed in some ways and becoming genuinely scared at the prospect of the unpleasantness which awaits when the warm weather becomes seriously bad and the prevailing feeling is of an extra from a zombie movie.

Mustn’t grumble though.

Published in: on October 19, 2010 at 7:12 pm  Leave a Comment  

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