Aphorisms V

Nigella goes on about food a bit, doesn’t she?

When she’s on the TV outside the hot room you’re writing in, she does anyway.

I hate and admire her at the same time, I think. Is that ambivalent? Yes, ambivalent is not no opinion; it is conflicting opinions, honestly held.

Nigella goes alright. What does that mean? Is it sexual? (There would be one of those amusing emoticons here if I ever appended them to anything I have written, or will write, ever. God, I hope this isn’t one of the big statements I make and then go back on. I once vowed to never start a sentence with “and”.)

 

And I believed me, I also told myself that a fully contained sentence, within parentheses, should end “.).” Go figure.

 

I don’t know what go figure means. And have never used it before.

 

On a positive note, the friendly mosquitos are still here. I love those cheeky little guys.

Except when they start biting.

 

By the way, what does “lucked out” mean? Exhausted the luck available, for a very favourable result, or all the luck was gone so a bad result inevitably ensued?

Does it matter?

Probably not: I’m unlikely to use it whatever it means.

 

Get back in your box!

Not a phrase that I use – but I wish I had a box. I would spend quite a lot of time in there … as long as there was light for reading, and it wasn’t too hot, and perhaps there was a toilet, and maybe a tap for a drink of water if I got thirsty.

Why don’t architects design the perfect person box?

Because it’s stupid.

 

I’m stupid.

 

Sometimes.

 

I’m smart, at other times. It’s hard to predict whether the curse or the blessing is about to descend. When a miscalculation of this sort occurs, I am often sent to the naughty corner.

There is no naughty nurse in the naughty corner.

Which is a shame.

 

In Woolworths there was a fully stocked display of Ashes-related cheap cricket stuff. No-one is buying Ashes stuff in this country.

No-one is playing cricket any more.

Even the Australian cricket team is not playing cricket any more.

 

How good is chorizo?

Good enough to buy two days in a row. That’s how good.

How does one pronounce chorizo?

The z can be a ‘th’ depending on what part of Spain you’re from.

 

Isn’t the internet an exquisite waste of time.

 

Tooth brushing awaits. A bit like polishing a turd. But necessary.

 

One of the salient features of Generation Y (to the extent that calling any age cohort a label doesn’t completely piss off all ‘members’ of that cohort) is extensive quoting of films and TV shows.

Quoting indicates a memory. And a functioning mind, equipped to sort and target quotes worth quoting, and the initiative to find a way to remember the words.

That’s impressive. For a robot.

 

Grunting is better.

I perfected that as a teenager. And I still do it.

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Published in: on December 8, 2010 at 7:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

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