Life In The Fast Lane

My finger hurts and my fingernails need cutting and I feel like the unsightly old man hair, which men get, unless they are very lucky, has become a bit out of control.

My finger hurts because Laetitia and I were putting up Christmas lights outside, in a tree, high up, and I was standing on the rather stylish stepladder with purple detailing that has been with me for a number of years. Balance had been an issue earlier; as for both of us, standing on uneven ground, the ladder started rocking. Hadn’t been a problem though. Now the surface wasn’t uneven, but balance became upset as I stood at the top of the little ladder without safety gear, a hard hat, of brightly coloured vest of any hue. I began falling, and grabbed at the nearest solid handle-like feature available, I grabbed a branch of the tree, and it – a whole branch – came off in my hand. The fall seemed to actually gain momentum in the wake of this development, and I fell faster and harder, and a slow-motion scene was enacted where Laetitia impotently stuck out a helping hand, nowhere near close enough to do any practical help, and I pointed behind her shoulder as the lighting decoration we had been placing crashed down behind her. No damage done to the ball of lights we were suspending from the tree, and I was OK too. I fell on my arse. On the concrete path. And it didn’t hurt, at all, thankfully. And still doesn’t. But when I grabbed the branch, my hand slid off, along the line of the branch as it was detaching from the tree trunk, and this caused a friction injury against the part doing most grabbing. The effect is a bit like hot oil has been poured onto the affected area – or, perhaps more like I’ve touched a hot plate, that was surprisingly hotter than it seemed it should be, for too long. It’s like a burn.

And so my finger hurts.

My fingernails need cutting as they have become too long. And my old man hair length is due to being an old man.

Comfortable retirement and no stepladders, here I come.

Published in: on December 13, 2010 at 7:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

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