A Little Nothing About Bugger All

This was intended to be a challenge. Write something that is difficult to communicate, to see how well you can do it. The idea was a challenge, I suppose: can you do it just with words?

Apparently not.

I’ve been stuffing around, trying to draw a diagram in Word, and have come up with the most useless looking figural depiction of what I was going to describe that I’m almost willing to give this effort away for the evening. But I won’t. I shall persevere. Even though it’ll be crap, in so many ways.

It was a few months ago, and I was waiting for the lift at the office where I work, after a typically long shift, wanting to go home, and wondering where the bloody hell the bloody thing was. The lift, that is. See, it’s the words. Going well, aren’t I? And a man from one of the offices to the right of where I was waiting, I front of the lift doors, approached, from the right (don’t worry, this’ll be in the diagram  … although don’t hold your breath about it being too helpful), and proceeded in a lefterly direction. He was clearly heading for the men’s toilets – the men’s toilets are in the fire escape in this building, in a curious design feature, which betrays a somewhat sexist assumption that it would be wrong to put women’s toilets in the fire escape stairwell on any floor, so on all floors, alternating on left and right, as you go up or down, it’s the men who need to open the fire escape door and then the toilet door, ever time.

Anyway, as this gentleman, who reminds me, as I think of him, as a retired judge from the Family Court, I think it is, he said, as he got very near, “Excuse me”, with the implication: “Out of my way, you!” It wasn’t polite. And so, confused, I moved a couple of footsteps forward. He continued on his lefterly line, and then made a neat right hand turn, and continued towards the fire escape/men’s toilet door number one exit. Had I not moved forward, he could have made a small right turn, to avoid me, continue for a few metres, and then turn right again. Both of these routes are on the diagram. And they look like they have been drawn by a child.

I’m confused. Can we all just demand people move to places we would prefer them to be standing? Is that the rule? Can we demand other things from them? Put shoes on, would be one of my first. But I’m confused, still, very, very confused. And I feel like I was used that afternoon – very slightly used.

Diagram number 1

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Published in: on June 1, 2011 at 8:24 pm  Leave a Comment  

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