SASSY TOWN FOLLIES by Felicity Appleton no.22, June 13

Late Nights With The Boss

Jonesy has been my boss for years now. Kikki and I were talking about this the other day, and Jonesy has been her boss for three years and he’s been my boss for five years, which is by far the longest time I’ve ever been under a man, if you know what I mean! I mean that when you add up all the time I’ve spent doing all the jobs I’ve ever done – including working in the corner shop during school holidays – Jonesy has been my employer longer than the rest put together. He’s been in my life longer than any man, apart from my Dad. No relationship has ever lasted this long. Yes, there are exes, quite a few exes, who I see every now and then, but those relationships are over, and Jonesy is there every day, every working day.

You get to know someone when you see them that often. You get to know them very well. Or that’s what I thought.

Over the last few weeks we’ve had more and more work to do in less and less time. Documents needing to be redrafted, contracts reviewed and signed, letters written – all because Sparky People’s takeover of The People Bureau will soon be happening. Jonesy needs the documents ready when he leaves for the acquisition in New York, which has to happen before the end of the financial year.

So, I’ve been staying back, and working closely with the boss, which sounds sort of steamy and naughty. We’ve been spending a lot of time together with no-one else around, but it hasn’t been like that. Not at all. I’m in a relationship now. And Jonesy doesn’t have the time. I mean, he’s too professional, but he wouldn’t have the time if he was interested, not that I am anyway. He’s like an uncle or something to me.

He’s always very ladies first in groups. And he’s still like that when it’s just me. But he’s gentler too. Kinder. He’s less grumpy and more open. His wife Margot has been gone over a year now – she works at The People Bureau – and Jonesy told me they don’t even Skype any more.  The separation seems real for the first time. He’s sad. His eyes are sad when he talks and he seems thoughtful, but he still looks good in the hand-made shirts from the shop I recommended. (The early morning surfing and running he does have made his body hard and he’s so fit for his age.) But he’s confused, he told me. When I brought up Cheryl from accounts he laughed – he would normally tell me to get the hell out of his office – and said that was one of the things he was confused about. He seems to be actually scared. Just a little bit.

I told him not to be scared of being happy. I tried to imagine what Oprah or Carrie from Sex And The City might say. And he asked me about my relationship, and I had to admit it was going nowhere. Ken is in publishing and his family owns half of Hong Kong and he gives me jewellery whenever I see him, but it doesn’t feel right. I just can’t imagine Ken ever fixing anything. Or farting in bed. Or allowing me to fart in bed. I can’t believe I said that to Jonesy – but I did. And he told me not to worry.

He told me I could talk to him about anything. At any time. He told me not to be scared of being a cranky old bastard. And then he told me to “piss off” out of his office.

Published in: on June 13, 2013 at 8:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

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