SASSY TOWN FOLLIES by Felicity Appleton, no. 23 June 18


The plane flew out on time and Jonesy was in it. It was 6am and he’d told me not to come to the airport, but I had to be there. I felt sad. Sad to see him go. I wondered if I’d see him again, which was silly really, as he was only going to New York, and he goes there all the time, at least four times a year, but I stupidly wondered if something might happen to him. Or if he might meet someone. I hoped that wouldn’t happen. If that happened he might not want to come back. He’s meant to be with Cheryl – Cheryl from accounts – here, not with some other woman there. He might run Sparky People from there, with his new girlfriend – his new French-speaking spokesmodel girlfriend who regularly exhibits weird sculpture at all the tiniest and most cutting-edge little galleries in Greenwich Village.

Jonsey laughed when I said those things to him. He called me a sook. He told me I could use his parking space, which is right next to the art deco door of the lift which goes straight to the Executive Level of SP, while he was gone. He made me promise not to drive “that shit box” if I was going to use his parking space. I felt a bit insulted for Geraldine (the name I’ve started calling my car since she narrowly escaped a serious bingle with a huge concrete fountain which was being delivered on the front lawn of a Federation mansion at the bottom of mum and dad’s street). But I borrowed dad’s Audi, while he and mum were in Maui, and drove that to work for a week. (I suppose dad will know I borrowed his car now, if he reads this.)

And it was a pretty good minding the store for him. He told me not to come in early and not to stay late. He also told me to stay the hell out of his office, but then he winked and told me he was only joking. I followed his advice as much as possible. He said to delegate and so I did. Kikki acted as my EA, which really means we had long conversations about the personal lives of the staff in a pretty office with a view of the Harbour out the window rather than gossiping at lunchtime, or on email all through the day. Cheryl was a great help. It’s not completely clear what she does, but since Jonesy doesn’t know either that didn’t bother me. And Adriano snooped around, bringing me little bits of information on what was happening in the office, even though I hadn’t asked him to, and actually told him not to when he described the butt on the young man who was delivering new chairs for the board room as “delicious”. (This young man also delivered a replacement chair for Jonesy, and when I saw him I had to admit Adriano was right. His name was Todd and he was American and you could crack walnuts with it. I immediately lifted the ban I had imposed on Adriano from entering Jonesy’s office as a punishment for his unprofessional conduct and exaggeration.)

There was time to get my hair done and my nails and have lunch for a couple of hours with my sister on Thursday. She advised me to return dad’s brand new German automobile to his garage straight away, and so I did. The next day. Which isn’t quite straight away but it’s kind of close.

Published in: on June 18, 2013 at 8:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

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