SASSY TOWN FOLLIES by Felicity Appleton, no. 28 August 6

Late On Wednesday Night

Single Gal Island would have to be the best show on TV. Oprah’s been off for a while and I only get the chance to see Martha Stewart when I’m at mum and dad’s place, as they have Foxtel and I can’t afford it. That’s not the whole story, but I am saving up to afford a trip to Hawaii in September. Heather and I often go away, somewhere, but we’ll be taking Kikki with us for the first time and it should be interesting. Anyway, back to Single Gal Island. It’s great! I love it so much. Heather and I were watching it together, at weekends, for the first few weeks, but then I couldn’t wait until then and even though I was recording it I started to watch it live. Heather admitted to me that she was doing the same thing. She thought I was going to be angry with her but when I told her I was doing the same thing it was all OK. We both couldn’t wait. We weakened. It’s an addiction, I suppose, but there are no drawbacks. Heather and I have started to watch a marathon of recorded episodes every few weeks. We’ve seen them before, but that’s OK. It’s fun in a new way to watch again with your bestie, both wearing trackies, with margaritas. On Wednesday nights I watch in my pjs, with a glass of wine (OK, glasses of wine), alone – quite different, you’ll agree!

Brittany is my favourite contestant on the show. I also love Brooke, the single mum who is a aerobics champion and has almost completed law school. She’s so inspiring. I want to be like her. I wish she was around here, to give me advice. And she bakes a really good sponge cake, which I’d love to taste. And I’d just like to give her a hug and let her hug me. I bet hugs with Brooke are really nice. But Brittany is my favourite. I think it’s the hair.

Brittany’s hair is glorious. It’s worth watching the show just to see it. (Single Gal Island is on Wednesday at 11:30, so it’s a bit late for some people. Mum reckons that’s why she’s never watched, even though I’ve told her so much about Brooke and Brittany and all the others.) Brittany’s hair is dark and shiny and long and luxuriant. It’s like a hair product ad. It looks like she uses conditioner and washes it regularly and uses a GHD (it has to be a GHD, inferior hair straighteners don’t produce results that good). But it’s not just Brittany’s hair. It’s her attitude. The way she stands up for herself and doesn’t take crap. The way she won the stranded cabin boy challenge, rescuing the biggest cabin boy, swimming out to him with one arm tied behind her back (which was a penalty for spending too long doing her hair, I think),  just because they told her she couldn’t do it. And then she kissed the cabin boy she rescued. He wasn’t really a boy, of course. He’s a man, a body builder, with these huge arms and flat stomach and a beautiful tan. And he was into her and she was into him. And I was sorry it had to end. And I bet Brittany was too.

I love her. I want to be her. I think Brittany is about my age and I wish my life was a bit more like hers.

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Published in: on August 6, 2013 at 8:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

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