SASSY TOWN FOLLIES by Felicity Appleton, no. 40 November 18

Relax, If You Can 

The first time I heard ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood I felt like finally there was music which was speaking to me. Everything seemed different after I heard that song in my sister Arabella’s bedroom, on her stereo (which she ditched the next year for an iPod – iPods were new). She had Bose speakers, which she was given when she passed her year 7 first term maths exam (Arabella struggled with long division and everything else in maths). It was a song which wasn’t afraid to be about sex and I felt, as a woman of 11 years old, liberated when I first heard it. Funkytown: Hits of The 1980s was my favourite CD, when we still played CDs. It changed my life.

The 80s were funny and kinda cute, and it’s still my favourite decade musically. I’ve got a ‘Relax’ T-shirt. (I sleep in it mostly, but I did wear it to EstroGym on one of the times when we went there for a workout and I almost spewed all over it (way too much information! I know. I’m sorry). That kind of exercise didn’t suit me. My preferred exercise environment is a brisk walk through Zara at lunchtime.

A new type of exercise I’ve been getting into is dog walking. For months we’ve heard about the pluses and minuses of various types of dog as Adriano convinced himself that it was time to become a pet owner. I advised him tried to get a goldfish or one of those stick insect things that you literally don’t have to do anything to when you own them: just give them a stick to sit on and their laughing. Or they would laugh if they weren’t stick insects. If they had any sort of personality at all. (That’s cruel! I’m sorry again. I’m sure they’re lovely in their own way!) But that was just it, Adriano said: personality. He wanted to raise a puppy and make it bond with him. It’s sweet really. I think he wants to settle down or something.

But this is Adriano and some things don’t change. He still plays hard. I was going to write he works hard and plays hard, but I’m not sure about the working. (Jonesy and I laugh at Adriano’s time sheets.)

At first he was hungover and all he had the energy to do was to call me and ask me to take his dachshund Betty for a quick walk around the park. I got a bit too excited when I heard  Adriano was getting a sausage dog, and Betty’s so cute, and, well, I may have offered to take the little cutie whenever Adriano was too sick to take her. Of course he took advantage of that offer, which I only half meant because the photos were so adorable and I didn’t know what I was saying. But it doesn’t matter. Betty and me are a team. We love to stop under the shrubs and smell the bushes and wee on things in a cute little squirty trickle (Betty does the last one). And there are so many men at the park. It’s a brilliant way to meet likeminded people with a soft spot for animals and a gentle nature who happen to be hot as hell. A physiotherapist named Raj gave me his card the other day. Physiotherapists – the young ones – are so fit! I’m looking forward to seeing Raj and his blue heeler again.

Oh, and Damon goes there with his doberman. It’s a former security dog, which was mistreated. Damon seems nicer the more I think about him.

But I really should relax. That was good advice back then and it’s good advice now.

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Published in: on November 18, 2013 at 7:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

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