Early Morning Oracle Consulting

When you’re tired and that tiredness is an ache and you’re confused and scared and not a little bit worried and you, say, consult your horoscope or look into numerology or perhaps do a Tarot reading, the result won’t put your mind to rest in most cases. These kinds of arcane divination and esoteric delving never really deliver the killer response to start with, and to think that they will is to misunderstand the nature of such enquiry. You will not get answer: yes, she is the one, you will have two children and you will have a double garage and your children will be called Nathan and Sophie. You will not be told the house is waiting for you. No, you will be gently advised, in quite general terms, to do what seems best and to try to make each other happy and that you bring out the best in some quality which the other person possesses. It might also be suggested that the odd weakness in the pair of you can be magnified by the other person. But the point, about a question of this sort or a question with no romantic overtones at all, is that you know the answer. It is in there and you need some clarity in how to think about your problem.

And so, when it’s early, and it always seems to be early, and your back hurts – lower back pain and upper back pain making the entire back region pretty sore – and there’s no herbal tea in your drawer, and the cereal you eat tastes a bit like it was old when you bought it but you eat it anyway as the box is almost finished and it gives you something very slight to look forward to after you’ve arrived at work in the morning to eat a bowl of cereal, and you’re still a bit hungry and wondering what the hell you are doing, doing that job, rushing towards those goals, trying to meet those targets, and you’ve become used to turning some precise and information-oriented part of your brain on with all the early mornings over the years, so despite being fatigued enough to be able to quite literally go to sleep there and then, if you had your bed and your sheets and no-one else around, which would be impossible of course, you want to read the interesting article you saw a Twitter link to in the Paris Review or The Atlantic or one of the papers, or just read the book you were reading on the train, which you were enjoying and which proved that, even in his earlier and not commercially as successful periods, Don DeLillo writes so engagingly and so well and managed to produce literature which doesn’t make a chore of reading it just to prove some point about art needing to be impenetrable and lacking in fun. And it’s always a wrench to have to put your book away and you ask yourself why you can’t just read what you want to read when you want to read it. But that answer is that you can’t. We can’t. Adults have to work and do things which are essentially pointless and fret about the future and later on, after the passage of years, realise that fretting wasn’t really required as you were on the right path, but you didn’t know that at the time and none of us do.

None of us know the wisdom of the Tarot reading about the house we want in the country either, how it’s getting closer and closer and more real and taking shape in mental ways which will become physical ways soon enough. None of us know how close it is until it happens and then we will know. Until then we worry – we are tired and frustrated and feel weighed down – and that is what we who don’t know must do.

Published in: on December 5, 2013 at 7:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

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